Why are you Haunting Me?

I have this song stuck in my head from when I was in high school/college.  I feel haunted by my last job after waking up seriously upset from a bad dream.

The dream went like this...

I got rehired at my old company to do a different job from the one I was doing before I left.  It was of course a different building, but some of the people were the same and in my dream it was the same company.  I think I had skipped the orientation, but was meeting with people on the new role.  I was talking with someone (I think in HR), who apparently had expected me to be doing a presentation an hour later.

It was at that point that things got really weird.  The presentation was from my old job.  The problem was that some people in the company hadnt gotten the word that I was laid off from that job, and for some reason still expected me to be doing it.  I told them what was going on and I think they ended up getting the product manager to do the presentation, but it hurt... a lot.  I cried as I walked by the room where he was giving the presentation.  That should have been me.

I tried to talk to my former boss about it, but she was really busy and after 5 minutes of talking she got whisked away by one of her new employees, too busy for me.

I woke up dazed and confused and rather upset, but realizing something important. I can't go back. At least not any time soon.  I had applied for a couple of jobs there, and even got a phone screen for one of them.  I poked around on their lists a few times when I was looking, but now I think the wound is still far too raw.  I would still miss what I had been doing, and since that program is still going on, I think I'd end up spending too much thought on what was going on with it.

And I also remember in the dream feeling hurt, and feeling like a second class employee... an employee that came crawling back despite being told I wasn't wanted before.  I know that they say layoffs aren't rational, and don't take them personally, but its hard for me to not feel like if I were a superstar that they would have kept me.  Of course in 1.5 years (for which 9 months I was pregnant, and 2.5 months I was on maternity leave), was there any chance of me becoming a superstar?  Who knows.  Either way it was awkward to be back.

I kinda wish I had had this dream sooner, maybe I wouldn't have wasted any time looking at their job boards or writing cover letters or talking/prepping for phone screens.

"What's done is done and I should get on with my life....."

It's time to let go, and hopefully it will stop haunting me.