So I think my job search has come to an end for now. My last interview (of my 4 onsites) ended up declining me for other candidates. I ended up declining two of the offers, and just now accepted the 3rd. But it still all feels so weird.
There are times I'm incredibly excited. I think this is a good opportunity, and a good advancement in my career or addition to my resume. There are times where I'm still bummed. My commute is going to increase 2-3X, I may need to be on evening calls with China. I'm no longer working with the NFL. I'm no longer working for the best supervisor I've had in my career. I still find myself comparing everything and just not being able to lift myself to the excited stage. I think honestly if I had gotten the other offer, I might have been closer. It was going to be challenging, it was going to be a change in my career, but the commute was short, there were fun perks to the environment, and I'd start out with friends there. I think I got myself so excited for that one that I just kind of feel let down by that, and let down by being laid off in the first place. I think I need time to process it all.
But I guess with all of this, I'm one step closer to moving forward in my career. In thinking through the options and opportunities, I stumbled across a few interesting points...
1. I really like the front end of Systems Engineering. Defining what the product/system will be with the customer before it is created is my specialty. I like starting things. I like the early stages. I'm not certain I'm amazing at the random R&D management yet, but in Systems Engineering, I'm good at the stage where we need to head towards a focused product.
2. I think I maybe want to head towards Product Management with my career. I really like that it ties long term vision with real engineering. I realized that somewhat early in my career - at Harris I had decided that's where I really wanted to head... and I think as I moved around I lost a little site of that, but its becoming clear again.
I don't know that this new job will afford me that opportunity. But its possible.. the Program Managers own an entire line of products along with the Marketing/Brand Managers, so maybe I kind of will be a Product Manager. I guess I will see how far it takes me.
I also think I messed up the negotiation process. I was too open with the recruiter to start, and honestly when she first called me, I had no idea what I was worth or what the jobs I was being recruited for were worth. I should have locked down and determined my worth earlier. I think the result is that Im 5-10K below my value now, but oh well. Its certainly not a bad salary at all, it just isn't what I should be commanding. I did negotiate and got a signing bonus, and an increase from what they first offered, but not as much as I should have gotten I think.
In the end, I think Im just tired. I was at a company that I thought I was going to build a career at. And now Im starting all over and Im just tired of it. The new company has really good people, and it seems like its stable and has good direction. But Im just not eager to have to learn the politics of a new company. To have to figure out what management wants out of me. To be "the new kid on the block".
So I'm almost there... I at least have accepted an offer, now I just need to get myself psyched up and ready to go again.
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