The Big Question

What do I want to be.... hmmm...

So yesterday was a power day... I got up, got the kids off to school with my husband and went out to have breakfast with a mentor (my former boss).  I really like talking with her and I have learned so much from her.  But I couldn't help thinking I sort of squandered our breakfast a bit.  She listened to my concerns/worries and validated some of my current choices, but I couldnt help but think I wanted another 3 hours.  I wanted to start diving into the big questions "how do I not get laid off again?" and "what do I want to be?".  But breakfast was over all too fast, and I only achieved a friendly chat.  I'll have to do better next time.

Quickly I had to get myself back on task... I had two phone interviews lined up (one of which was 3 people long!), and needed to touch base with a third company for a followup.

I nailed the first interview... it was for a Systems Engineering role, and although it is a bit further than I want to commute, I figured I'll keep my options open.  Plus the recruiter was merciless.  It was just an HR phone screen, but I found myself answering everything so eloquently, so right... despite the fact that I had a splitting headache.  Maybe I was born to be a Systems Engineer.  He quickly setup an onsite interview with the team.  Check.

The second to come was a followup with the company I interviewed with already.  I wasn't sure if this place was the right fit for me, so I thought I'd talk more with the hiring manager.  At first I really wasnt sure what I wanted to ask, what would make me comfortable... but 20 minutes of thought and I had pulled together some good questions.  Nailed that too.  I had a really really good talk with the manager.  She and I got along really well, and she had some great answers, visions and understandings.  I'll still need to decide if this place is the right fit, but I'm pretty sure I'll get the offer.  Its nice to know there is a place where I could add value and make a difference.

The third was the three person interview.  I had originally asked if it could be on onsite, but they said the hiring manager was traveling, so they just wanted to do the phone screen for now.  The first interviewer and I could have talked for hours.  He had some good questions that I answered well, and I countered with some good questions that made him think and come up with good responses.  The second interviewer is the woman who would be my boss.  That one was a bit tougher, she asked some good questions, and occasionally we stepped on eachothers words, but I think I answered well and again was able to ask a few good questions.  She definitely seemed driven and could be a good boss if we get along.  The third was the director, turns out he wasnt on travel, but maybe he just got back?  His interview was very interesting.  He had somewhat standard but reasonably insightful questions "what are you most proud of about your work at X company?", "what would you have done differently?", and we walked through my career with similar style questions.  I hadn't really completed that exercise in my interview prep yet, but I had done that kind of thing in the past, so my answers were fairly natural even if off the cuff.  His last one threw me a bit though. I was so used to his very standard type questions that I wasnt thinking bigger or creatively.  He asked "money and everything else aside, if you could be anywhere, and have any job, where would you be with what job?".  At first I took it kind of literally... "I'd want to work in Framingham, its where I live and I have 2 young kids so no commute would be amazing" (I could hear him pausing) "and... I think I really like being a PM, my SE jobs..." he sort of interrupted "but you could be anything".... "Oh anything?"  There is that big question... WHAT do I want to be when I grow up? But he was asking bigger, more creatively... to me right now WHAT do I want to be when I grow up needs to be tangible, I need to be able to see a path there, and it needs to be something that fits into the lifestyle that I want.  But I kind of took his bait, and said "Oh, well, I really loved mentoring high school kids in FIRST robotics, so I guess if I could get paid to do that, I definitely would... yeah... that or a professional chef"  I could hear him smile and laugh a bit.

He indicated that he would talk with the other interviewers but that they would likely bring me onsite soon, another checkmark for the day.

But that question still rattles around in my mind.  If I could be anything, anywhere, what would it be?  I used to be a bit more of a dreamer.  Thinking I could follow any passion I wanted.  But I've also been practical in my job choices, generally trying to choose something that will help me advance my career, learn new things, build my resume.  I'm definitely feeling like Im at the more practical stage right now.  I love our family, our house, our friends.  All of that is what makes me happy right now.  Yes I want a job that I can achieve at, and I don't want to hurt my career, but my job really has so rarely been my passion.  My FIRST teams were my passion, the events that I ran, the character MC that my husband and I built, and my kids... those are my passions.  My job is secondary.  I like being able to achieve in my job, and I like the lifestyle a job provides, but its secondary to the rest of my life.  I want my job to enable my ability to live the life I want.  Maybe thats what I want to be when I grow up...