Losing a good job is like a bad breakup

I've been thinking about this for the last few days... Losing a job you love is like a really bad breakup.

The Shock:
If you feel like you've loved someone with all your heart, or if you've had a job you really loved, to be broken up with is quite a shock.  In most cases you never saw it coming.  You were so in love, you just never thought it could happen.  Even if there were little issues, you thought surely they are small, we will work through it and move on.  So its a huge surprise

Your Future is Unknown:
With a significant other, you picture your future together, no matter if you are in high school love or in love in the later years.  You picture having kids together, growing old together, or whatever the next stage is.  With a job that you love, you picture your future there... you think about where you will be in 5 years, 10 years, 20 years... you imagine your promotions, your retirement party.  You imagine all the things you will do with the company.  But in either breakup, all of a sudden your future becomes blank, it becomes a clean slate.

The Stages:
You can read numerous online articles and even books on the stages of grief, the stages of a breakup, and the stages of job loss.  All are pretty much exactly the same.  Some combination of Shock, Denial, Isolation, Bargaining, Anger, Depression & Acceptance.  You move through all of them in both cases.  I can remember the first breakup that totally broke my heart.  It was months before I really came out the other end.

The Comparisons:
For a while, maybe forever?  You constantly compare every alternative to your former significant other or job.  If you had a job you loved, no one is going to have exactly the same camaraderie, challenge, social scene, flexibility, benefits, location... on and on.  Like former significant others, no one is as cute, as driven, as sweet, as much of a good dancer, as funny, etc... In both cases you wonder if you will ever have what you had again.

The What Did I Do? Phase:
Inevitably in both cases you will lay some blame on yourself.  You will wonder what you did wrong to deserve this.  With the significant other, maybe you could have paid more or less attention to them, maybe you were too needy, maybe you werent smart enough, maybe you nagged too much... With the job, maybe you didn't stand out enough, maybe you were too assertive, maybe you were difficult to work with, maybe you weren't fast enough, maybe you were too nitpicky... You wonder all the things you could have done differently to not be in the scenario you are in.

The Anger:
You start to dwell on all the things they did to wrong you. You start to think about the times they probably lied to you, the way they strung you along, all of the things they said they would do for you and never did.  You rage about all of these things in your head, but there is no one left to yell at or fight with.  Its over.

The Depression:
You start to think you will never find anyone or any job like the one you are mourning.  You've figured out all of the things you did wrong and think they mean you will never be accepted again, or that you will have to settle for less than what you had.  You become unsure of yourself and how to move on.  You stare off into space a lot, or just want to sleep.  You move through each day with dullness, without excitement.  You feel alone and useless. You may have the energy to outwardly pretend its no big deal, but inside you've checked out.

Moving on...
With any luck, at some point you finally accept things and force yourself to move on, or maybe a friend or family member that forces you to get back on your feet and get moving.  Sometimes you get back "in the game" right away... looking for another "special someone" or polishing up your resume and going on interviews.

Either way... a bad breakup, or a liked job breaking up with you... it hurts, a lot.  You can only hope to move through it quickly and move on.  If you are confident, you will get to the "Their Loss" stage, if you are not so confident, you will be a little scarred but hopefully will pick up and move on the next time.  Either way, you end up a little more reserved in your judgement each time, you are a little more cautious about your choices, you worry that the next one may not be forever either...